i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
