Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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