And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
