they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
