i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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