I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
