ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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