I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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