I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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