Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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