I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
