girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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