She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
