The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
