We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
