I puked a lego.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
