OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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