are you still at the devil's house?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
