One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
