we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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