I wanna passion pit in your ass
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Randomize
