ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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