maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
