I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
and she was petting her beer can
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
