Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
