i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
birth control should be required to get into college
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
