My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
where are my eyebrows?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
