You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
