So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
His nipple licking is glorious
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