so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
