Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
