my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
