Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
