this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
