Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Reggie can tackle my bush.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
