Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
