Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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