Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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