guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
