No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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