We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
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