I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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