I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
