I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
