Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
