Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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