After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
