I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
