Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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