he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Actions speak louder than pants.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
