I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
