Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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