I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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