Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
