i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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