I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
