How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
