Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
