NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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